-: Can't we all just get along? Wouldn't that be nice?
Nice, yes. Realistic, well, not always.
The fact is that people have different feelings
and opinions, so disagreements are bound to happen.
Conflicts are inevitable.
The important thing is being able
to resolve those conflicts.
Well, how do we do that?
Here are eight great tips
for effectively resolving conflicts.
(pleasant music)
Number one, stay calm.
If you are angry and really worked up, it will be hard
for you to see anything other than your own point of view.
A common and unproductive reaction
is to be defensive during such proceedings.
Take a minute. Leave the room if you must.
Take a deep breath and compose yourself.
This will open the door to the possibility of resolution.
Along the same lines, never make it personal.
Once the name-calling begins, the conversation usually ends.
Number two, choose the right time and place.
Resolving the conflict should not be an afterthought.
You should be fully engaged
and focused on the matter at hand.
This should not be attempted to be settled via text
or in between songs at a crowded bar.
Schedule a distraction-free time and place
that works for everyone.
This will help create the mood for resolution.
Number three, create a plan.
Like any other meeting, there is no reason
not to come prepared to a conflict resolution.
Have a plan for yourself.
What do you want to get out of this?
What potential roadblocks can come up in a conversation?
And how will you respond to those?
Instead of dreading the meeting,
recognize that conflict is a fact of life
and embrace the challenge of coming up with a solution
that works for everyone.
Number four, listen.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but it's worth mentioning.
Some people just wanna talk and talk
to get their point across without ever listening.
How can you truly understand where the other side
is coming from if you do not stop and listen?
You can't.
Number five, be willing to compromise.
We all have things that we want,
things that we're willing to fight for.
But look, the truth is that resolving a conflict
usually requires a little give and take
from each side involved.
If you are completely unwilling to budge, even an inch,
that could put an immediate stop to the conversation.
The right attitude might be all that's needed
to keep things moving in the right direction.
Number six, focus on the future.
It's easy to dwell on the past, but what's done is done.
You need to look ahead. Where do we go from here?
This way of thinking is an effective way
of looking at the bigger picture and resolving any conflict.
Think about it.
Does anyone really want to dwell on the past
and remain in conflict indefinitely?
I doubt it. Problems are meant to be solved.
Number seven, check those eye-rolls.
Sometimes an eye-roll can do just as much damage
as calling someone a dirty name.
Your facial expressions, body language, hand gestures,
and all other forms of nonverbal communication
can impact the proceedings.
Make sure to keep it all positive and respectful.
You're there for peace, not a fight.
Number eight, let it go. Resentment is jealousy's evil twin.
When the conflict has been resolved,
just drop it and move on.
There is no benefit in holding onto anger or resentment
over what you may have had to compromise on.
Even if this time around
wasn't as much in your favor, who knows?
Maybe you come out a little more on top next time.
(gentle music)